I’m starting to get tired.
I woke up at 2am today, at first in a “wow, I have cottonmouth, better get some water” kind of way. But then it became increasingly obvious it was actually an “oh, I’m up, aren’t I?” kind of way.
This is fine except 2am is cold–the super turns the heat down at night–and one can’t turn on lights or make noise without infuriating one’s roommates. I finished reading a book for work under the light of my couch lamp, then blasted through almost all the proposals I have loaded on my Kindle. I tried to nap for half an hour and failed. I got up again at 5, showered, and started answering emails–I figured some agrarian types consider 5am to be real daylight.
Everything is fine now, but I’m a little worried about the rest of the day, when I start to get tired at 3pm and still have to finish work and then go to a Mystery Writers of America function.
So actually, this same thing–uh, insomnia? Is that what it is?–happened to me about a month ago. Not being great at self-analysis, I can’t put my finger on why. I understand sleeplessness if you are excited about something, stressed, anxious, or sad; those all make sense. But I’m not really feeling any of those things, that I can tell.
So now that it’s happened twice, I wonder if this is a sign that I’m getting old? Don’t they say old people sleep less? It’s an obvious sign of premature age. Kind of like the creaky right knee. Why does my knee creak? I’m 27. I’m healthy, of a moderate body weight, and in the practice of regular non-strenuous exercise. Or what about the bad back? It totally hurts all the time lately, even when I’m just sitting around, like I’ve just been shoveling heavy snow for hours. Most worrying of all, of course, is the early onset Alzheimer’s, which I can’t seem to shake the conviction I have. I can’t understand why I used to have this awesome memory and now I struggle with basic details, faces, names, dates. I’ll read a book, love it, and one day later not be able to summarize the plot. WHY.
Based on this highly scientific anecdotal data, I have now conclusively proved that Old Age sets in at 27. Those in the audience who have also attained this advanced age, please tell me whether you concur, or this is just a crazy phase.
Maybe I’m anxious about getting old, and it’s actually the anxiety that’s making me sleepless, and the sleeplessness that’s making me feel old, etc, chicken/eggchicken/egg.
Ok, herein ends my ramble. And to think, some authors do their best writing at this hour. Maybe if this early rising becomes a habit that can be a new way for me to fill my time.
I think I’ll go make a pot of coffee.